Loving Your Child Forever
This brief writeup on the loss and love of my son in an open letter format a few days before this awful massacre of “our” 20 children at the Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut. This massacre is nationally mourned by us all; it is the worst massive school shooting in United States’ history. I share this post right away, especially for the family of the victims. I do hope something from my experience or something I share from such a similar experience where my child was the victim of a homicide, that there is something that can help in one way or the other, have an impact.
My only biological son, I speak about. Of course, I have loved you from the time that you became a part of my life. Ever since that night when you became the victim of a homicide, my love for you have been in the highest degree. It has been 20 years since that awful moment but I have to say that I love you every day of my life and I will always love you as I exist. When you were no longer physically with me, of course, it has been very painful and just unbearable at times. However, I asked Almighty God to help me through all of what I will have to through in this terrible loss of you in my life, this void in life. One of the first things I did is that I thanked Almighty God for ultimately blessing me to have you as my child for 19 years.
Even though his life was abruptly taken, I still want to say I appreciate every moment that Almighty allowed me to have Michael as my son. He is not with me physically to this day but to this day and until the end of my life I will continue to love you, my son. I realize I am not the ONLY parent who has lost a child, but still there is something that is different about you that makes me hang in there. Oh, that awful horrific act where the gunman shot that fatal bullet and you were the victim of a dastard act, a homicide, your spirit is with me everyday. Almighty God knows the very inner essence of me and my heart when it comes to my LOVE for you. Sometimes I smile and many times I cry but somehow I am able to dry my eyes and allow for just one more smile that you were a part of my life.
It does not matter if you had been with me for the short time of 19 years or 100 years. I love you no less. In fact, I love you the most.
I think about when you were born as a premature baby. You were in the incubator in the hospital’s care and the hospital soon became my second home. I would make visitations as long as I could and watch the doctors and nurses as they took care of you in the incubator. You weighted only 3 lbs 4 oz when you were born. However, I felt confident that you would soon gain your weight and continued being healthy and I would then take you home. I would care for you and watch you grow into the young man you were at nineteen years old. (To be Continued)